Thursday, March 4, 2010

Ambivalent Associates

One thing I can’t stand is sarcasm. Not the kind that’s funny and makes you laugh. I hate the insecure variety of sarcasm. The kind that makes my stomach feel uneasy… like when I get seasick or watch ‘The View.’

Why is it that every time you do something your proud of and share it with people, there’s always at least one person that has to be a hater? They may not come right out and say, “Hi there, I’m a hater. I hate you.” but they don’t need to. They can simply reduce your hard work and passion to a malicious remark. They can demote your life’s purpose to a spiteful joke. They’re always good at it too. It disgusts me.

There’s two things about these kind of people that you need to know.

First, you need to know their reason. These people are provoked by insecurity, driven by jealousy, and guided by resentment. Where does a musician get a majority of his criticism? Other musicians. Where do painters get theirs? From other painters. See, if your successful at doing something and its getting you attention, someone with a similar interest (and most likely one who isn’t as successful as you) will always be motivated to despise you and your work. Really, they don’t even need to have similar interests. Sometimes it can just be that person who wants all the attention in the group. They have this innate need to be congratulated and praised. Then--like God in the Old Testament--they get all mad when someone else is getting praised and not them. Then--like the golden cows--they want us destroyed so they can be the only one that is commended. Well, you are not God and I don’t have shiny utters, so chill out.

Their jealousy will drive them to talk badly about you in an attempt to make others look at you as being less knowledgeable or inferior to them. Simply put; they are insecure. They see the inferiority and frailty within themselves. They realize that their own ability is but a Lunchables when compared to your smorgasbord of talent. They are worried that you are actually better than them and they can’t stand it! They want to be legit, but you make them look counterfeit. They want to be amazing, but you expose their mediocrity. The want to be the best, but you won’t let them. You’re awesome. They‘re not. No wonder they hate you.

Secondly, you need to know their purpose. This one is a little tricky because you’re actions and reactions decide they’re function in your life. If you dwell on their negativity and believe their hateful talk, you give them the power to hinder you. However, any control, authority, or influence they have over you is only given to them by you. So, just keep doing your thing. Move on. “If they hate, just let them hate, and watch the money pile up.”

Instead of letting these pessimists inhibit you, use them to strengthen your character and sharpen your skill. Everything that we consider to be of true greatness has had to overcome or face some sort of opposition. Einstein didn’t talk fluently until he was nine, failed his college entrance exam, had a hard time remembering his phone number and how to tie his shoes and is now deemed one of the most gifted minds in history. Helen Keller was blind and deaf and became an author, political activist, and college graduate. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team after try-outs and is now considered the greatest basketball player of all time. Franklin D. Roosevelt had polio and was crippled from the waist down but still is the only president to serve more than two terms in office and led an entire nation through the Great Depression and World War II. There’s also Nelson Mandela, Abraham Lincoln, Michael Oher, Susan B. Anthony, and many more.

Author Stephen Covey said it best when he wrote, “Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights - we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.” With this being said, it is obvious that you can simply use those that oppose you for your benefit. If you use them right, they can take you farther than you ever could have gone yourself. Their purpose, is simply to accelerate you to your purpose.

If you want to do something; do it. Don’t let anyone stop you. This is your life, so take control of it. Go after your dreams now while you can. We’re given a limited amount of time. Don’t waste it. Know that if they are hating on you that probably means your doing good. If they’re hating on you that always means your getting better. Thomas Paine once said, “The harder the conflict; the more glorious the triumph.” Well said, Tom. Well said.


  1. Your so right! In reading this I realized that part of that is me. When I am insecure I tend to use sarcasm... lesson learned

  2. I needed this bro. "Haters you can hate me watch me shine I ain't goin nowhere might as well recline" haha

  3. This is one of the most true statements ever. People who are insecure make it so evident by trying to bask in the public degradation of others. And I, for one, absolutely cannot stand condescending pricks

  4. Your little friendMarch 4, 2010 at 8:56 PM

    Jeremy . . . im a hater. I hate you

  5. Thanks Jeremy. This actually taught me how to react to people like that. And to NOT be a hater. Your whole topic is actually something I struggle with. So thanks again :)

  6. Just read this and realized this is me and it's something I need to work on! Thanks J!